Fancy Pantsy

So the other day i hit hollister. not my usual type of store, but i had heard their t-shirts are the nicest ever. my sweet husband lives in t-shirts and likes nice ones…but will not buy himself anything that was not on the old navy clearance rack for 6.99 or less!

my impressions of the uber-tendy store:

1. loud. too loud. my poor charlotte was freaking out. the sweet seconds between songs were only an evil prelude to louder songs. i am not an old fogey who must have elevator music, but this was ridiculous.

2. also dark. very very dark.

3. and they spray some sort of surfy air-freshener. it smells nice, but is just not right for migraine sufferers like me.

4. I took a little peek at the women’s t-shirts. they only go to size large (which would, by the way, fit kate moss on a  salt retention day perfectly). apparently hollister girls aren’t allowed to be chubby. the boys are though, since dude’s t-shirts (yes, they call them dudes) do go to XL.

5. really though, nobody at hollister is allowed to have any fat whatsoever. i bought the man a large. he is 6″1, about 170lbs, and usually a medium is baggy on him-but required due to his height. the hollister  large is too small on him. now i have to go back to hell hollister to exchange it.

6. since hollister is so damn small, there are old size extra-small and  smalls left. finding a medium is like a needle in a haystack. finding a large is like a broken needle in a haystack. extra large? a grain of sand in a haystack. it took me an hour to find the large one got my man. i am not looking forward to returning to find an extra large.

5. hollister is hell for strollers. it is a big store, but for some reason it is separated into about 8 tiny, crowded wood panelled rooms…all with the same stock. i got stroller locked about 8 times, and at one point curled up in a corner to cry a little,  convinced i would never escape and would die there. i was so lonely i tried to make friends with a beach ball, but he ignored me to talk to the skinny girls.

7. in spite of my own feelings, a lot of (young, skinny, beautiful) people really like hollister. so much that 10 of us waited line at the registers for about 20 minutes. for these 20 minutes, there was actually not a cashier at the registers. at yet we waited, without even grumbling about customer service. had i been shopping for myself, i would not have bothered. but for my man, i’ll do anything.

8 . the t-shirts are the thickest, softest, ever. I actually want to keep the too small large one, and just snuggle with it at night. is that wrong?

Oh well. it was an adventure, and now i get to go back and exchange…unless i put the man on a diet, which i just may do to avoid returning hollister forever!

disclaimer-if you are from hollister, don’t hate me. i, a 36 year old chubby mom to 2,  am not your target market anyways….and if my girls do not end up chubsters like their mom, i will allow them into your skinny clothes haven and encourage them to buy your soft as silk t-shirts. i promise.

*sorry for the bad typing, this post was brought to you by my left hand,  a nursing babe in arms, and a computer that freezes between every word.