So yeah, it has been a while. Sorry about that. After my self-pity fest a while ago, i have been busy…but it is time for an update, so:

1) I am back to my healthy self, for now at least. I am trying to limit (but not fully avoid) dairy,a nd gargling hydrogen peroxide daily. I really do need to stay off the antibiotics as long as I am breastfeeding (probably another year) since Charlotte got diarrhea and diaper rash from them. She is clearing up too now though. I have the name fo an ENT who I hear is surgery happy…so I am going to ask for a referral to him to discuss my options. I am still terrified fo the surgery, but willing to at least find out if I CAN get it.

2) I am exercising again. Doing about 20-30 minutes of Wii Fit and Gold’s Gym Cardio (a great workout) a day, and also making sure to be on my feet a lot. It is funny, it has only been a while, but I already feel thinner and people are telling me I look thinner. Maybe I am dumping some water weight? I am sure I am not getting into my fat yet!

3) The nanny (S) is here.  She is very nice, and seems to sincerely like both my girls, who are responding well to her. Not too well though…we went to a play program yesterday and Charlotte left her lap to crawl over to mine and sit with me. I was deliriously happy to see that even though Charlotte seems to be attaching to the nanny, she knows where her bread is buttered LOL!

There have been some adjustments. She has reorganized our whole house, and will it looks nice…we are having some trouble finding things. Also it is a bit awkward when we are together with Charlotte. S wants to be with her, and so do I!! She is such a doll, neither of us wants to give up time with her. I only have a few weeks left with her and want to make the most of them, however S only has a few weeks until she is with her all day every day, and also needs to make the most of this time to create a solid bond. I get that…but it is hard.  ultimately though, the nanny thing is going well, we like her and she seems happy, and I think it will work out for the best.

I tell you, having a nanny while being off work rocks!  I do whatever I want with Charlotte while S cleans my house, and then when I want alone time to shower, be online, read, poop, or run errands, I give Charlotte to S and do it!! Of course, it is only a short reprieve from the day I go back to work full-time, and the nanny focuses much more on the baby than housework (she does have some household duties, but not the entire house-just cleaning after Charlotte, the kid’s laundry, and preparing Charlotte’s lunch…anything else she has time to do is appreciated, but not required) but for now, it is so nice.  My house is clean, my baby is cared for and occupied, and I am getting alone time whenever I want it!!! I never understood stay at home moms who have nannies (unless they have, like, a litter of kids), but now…if I was a millionaire…this would be my life!!! Sigh…

I guess thats all for now. I Hope everyone who celebrates it is enjoying Chanukah!!!

I am in such a funk these days…

1) I am so upset to have discovered that dairy does, indeed, lead to my recurring tonsillitis. I do not want a tonsillectomy. I also do not want to be dairy free forever (and really, now that dairy in my diet does not bother Charlotte, have lost all will-power to avoid dairy. Amazing what we’ll do for our kids but not ourselves, isn’t it?). I am starting to reconsider the tonsillectomy. However, getting the tonsils out will be harder than it sounds, if I decide to do it. I have no good record of the tonsillitis since I have gone to random clinics over the years for antibiotics, and they often did not even do swabs, just peeked in my throat at my pus covered tonsils. Eventually I got so sick of sitting in waiting rooms that I started getting a personal friend to write the prescriptions for me (I know, bad). So, for me to get them out I need to start going only to my doctor, getting the swabs and prescriptions there and then getting a good record, so that the next time I go to an ENT, he’d recommend it. That also means not doing the things I know help me avoid getting it; avoiding dairy obviously. Before that, I was gargling hydrogen peroxide twice a day, on the ENTs recommendation , and that was helping. (I did it for a year, and only got it twice that year)   So, I’d essentially need to let myself keep getting it for a year, and schlep to my (part-time, busy, which is why I was going to clinics instead of her…once I get it a day without anti-biotics can make the difference in whether I get sick enough to miss a week of work or not), getting a new referral, etc. So, I kind of got myself into a bind here by not getting a good medical record of it back when it was a bigger issue, since I now either need to do what I know I can to avoid it (which includes avoiding dairy) or probably spend a year at least  getting sick over and over again to prove to an ENT I need them out. Ugh. There is also still the fact that I am terrified to get them out.

2) I am completely, totally, utterly overwhelmed by laundry, dishes, etc…and I don’t even do a lot of housekeeping. I do a huge load of laundry every single day, I don’t even know how it gets so big. The dishes are never clean. I wont say my man does not help…but he does not help enough. He’ll tell me he cleaned up the kitchen and I’ll think it is done, only to go down the next morning and discover he filled the dishwasher but did not turn it on so we have no clean dishes, and left the baby’s highchair tray covered in food which is now dried on and needs to be removed before I can give her breakfast. I am not a picky “do it my way” type at all…but I think it is common sense that if the dishwasher is full and the dish cabinets are empty, turn it on! I have been on a cloth diaper break for 3 weeks now, but am 2 days back into cloth. I am dreading the laundry. It did not bug me before…but for some reason I am just at a point now where laundry is really, really getting to me and the thought of adding another 2-3 loads a week makes me feel ill.

3. The nanny comes in a few days. Nothing is ready for her (her room is finished, but full of stuff from the other parts of the basement that are still being worked on and her furniture is in the garage), and I am very nervous about how it will work out, and what I’ll do with her my last month of maternity leave. I know I need her for that time to get to know me and the girls and our home and routines and such…but I want to spend the last month with Charlotte, not with Charlotte and the nanny, and not on my own while the nanny is with Charlotte. I am not sure how to get past that feeling.

5. I don’t want to go back to work. I have enjoyed maternity leave and parenting a baby so much more this time, and am not chomping at the bit to get back to my career like I was last time, but I have no choice. Also, my office has moved, my team has changed, and those above me have changed and there is also a tonne of new policy I’ll have to learn and follow. So, I am just not looking forward to dealing with  all that.

6. My weight, still. I decided a few weeks ago to get it back on track, but in practice have not done much.  I am so annoyed because just when I finally started to get motivated to get in shape, I got the flu…and hadn’t even bounced back from it before I got tonsillitis…so I am finally motivated but really not feeling up to any extra exertion right now, just doing “normal” stuff like laundry leaves me winded and coughing through my tender throat, and I am so tired from being sick for weeks now that I am eating a lot more to keep my energy up. I feel like such a fat, lazy, ugly pig. All the moms I know who had babies when I had Charlotte are back to their pre-pregnancy weight. I am nowhere near it, in fact I am closer to my “having a baby anyday now” weight.

Yeah, so, I am feeling like crap.  That’s all.

But I was browsing them for a friend, and needed to share this beauty:

I have a PetuniaPicklebottom glazed boxy backpack and love it! The size is perfect, not too big or small. The glazed finish makes it always look new. And, or course, The PP patterns are all gorgeous.

P.S. here is mine:

to see this:

Charlotte gave me an early Anniversary gift, and napped long enough for me to get a very, very, very needed hair-cut!

Today, I have been married 8 years! Which is unbelievable, and awesome!

So I am posting some pictures of myself, and my make-up, from Friday night. It was a casual dinner, but I got about as dressed up as I do these days, and thought I looked nice, obesity and all!

Yesterday was the big day for me, 36.  Not a bad age to be, but I admit it is a bit sad for me to realize I am now closer to 40 than 30. But 40 is the new 3o, right???

I had a nice day. Spent time with my mother in law, my friend, and my family. I had lunch with Charlotte and my MIL at Panera (yum) and dinner with the man, the girl, Charlotte, my parents and my brother at Royal Orchard Thai (double yum).  My friend also came for a visit with her adorable son not once, not twice…but three times!

She came three times because she was assisting me in dealing with a little issue I had. You see, I finally made enough money selling stuff to buy the baby carrier of my dreams, a used Didymos Pfau. The carrier I bought was advertised (with pictures to back it up) as dyed bright indigo, with very even colour.

The Pfau I got in the mail, looked like this:

So yeah, I had to do something. So first I bitched and complained to the seller until she refunded me half the cost.

Then I over-dyed it dark Navy:

Much better, but I still wanted some pizzazz.

So I decided to  overdyed it with  red, to create purple. This required some assistance with a scale and salt, and occupying the baby known as “the napless one”. So my friend came to visit and maybe get a wrap of her won dyed red too. Then she left and she came back with some salt and a food scale. Then it was time for her to go, but she came back again and she took care of her baby and my baby, while I did the red dye…and cleaned the red dye I spilled off the steps as best I could. The final result is gorgeous, but man was that a lot of work. Happy Birthday to me though, I got the Purple Pfau of my dreams:

I also have some loving family members who clearly read my blog, seeing as I got the Wii Fit Plus I wanted, times 2! Both my man and my parents got it for me. Yeah me, now I can be extra fit. Okay, really I will return or sell one…but it was awesome to get what I wanted!!!

I am loving Wii fit. It is great fun, and while not the best workout ever, it is a workout, and is also motivation to be more active and eat healthier in general…since it weighs me. By the way, it told me I am obese. Which I knew, but did not need to hear from an inanimate object without eyes. It also told me my body age is 34…so I rock! 34 even though I am obese. Imagine how young I’d be if I was a healthy weight?! I’ll let ya know in a few months.

Oh well…time to go do some virtual hula hoping!

The flu has left me mostly with some battle wounds. A little run down, a little pale, with a lingering cough and sore throat…and 2 huge, evil, painful canker sores!

As for the cough and sore throat,  tea and some Go Naturally organic honey candies that my sweet friend supplied are helping to soothe.

As for the Canker sores…ugh. I was so miserable. They hurt so badly, and any of the numbing  treatments I tried wore off the sores within minutes-but left the rest of my mouth annoyingly numb for hours! So, today I hit the drugstore determined to find something to give me relief. What I found was OralMedic. I was a bit skeptical of it’s claims to work in one treatment…but willing to try anything.  I actually was so desperate that I tried it in the car before I left to go home. Well…I was amazed. It actually worked. Since using it about 9 hours ago, I have felt no pain, whatsoever, in my canker sore area. I can feel the sore is still there with my tongue, but it is completely de-sensitized. My whole mouth is not numb though…just the sore itself. Amazing. One bit of warning though…where the directions say “A brief “stinging” sensation is experienced immediately upon application”, a more appropriate statement would be “upon application, it will feel as though a swarm of hornets has entered your mouth and begun to sting you all in the same spot”. It was worth it though.

OralMedic is not available in the U.S.

Suckers!!