Where is this supposed return of energy they (*they* being the lying bitches well meaning but misinformed ladies who wrote What to Expect When You’re Expecting) tell me happens in the second trimester? I am a week into the second trimester and almost fell asleep into my gnocchi tonight.
Talking about WTEWYE, I loathe WTEWYE, and only still read it because it is living under my bed where I threw it 6 years ago. Sometimes I am too tired to leave my bed and look for better reading material.
Gems of wisdom from WTEWYE:
1. The best-odds diet. The authors tell you that, since you wouldn’t give your baby a doughnut, you shouldn’t eat one yourself. Does that mean I should consider a diet of breast milk for the duration of my pregnancy, since that is all I plan to feed my baby? No, they don’t recommend that. They do recommend nothing but fruits and veggies, meat and whole grains. We pregnant women should not allow white bread, white rice, white pasta, sweets or fried food of any kind into our homes in case we may be tempted to allow it to pass our lips and poisen our fetuses. We can cheat on a minor treat like frozen yogurt once a week or so, and a real treat like the ever evil doughnut once a month…but ONLY if we wont over-indulge as a result of allowing ourselves to cheat. If we do not follow these rules, our babies will be hideously malformed and it will be our fault for succumbing to the temptation of the Oreo cookie (okay, they don’t say that…but they imply it).
2. We should relax in the evenings, keep our feet up and take it easy. But exercise. Because we have all mastered the trick of exercising while keeping our feet up and relaxing during our only free time.
3. One’s husband’s closet is the best source for maternity clothes. Sure, because all men are bigger than their hugely pregnant wives, right? My man is 6″1 and 165lb soaking wet…I can barely wear his clothes (except his baggy sweats, but yuck, who’d want to?) when I am not pregnant!
My real vitriol for the WTE series comes from the What to Expect for Toddler Years book though. The first question is about Breastfeeding after 1. The author’s response, essentially, is *Some mothers BF their toddlers and if you want to fine, but here are 10 reasons it is not a great idea.* As a proud nurser of the girl for over 2 years, (as is recommended by all major pediatric medical associations), I stopped reading right there and made a nice warm bonfire with the toddler book.
WTEWYE remains under my bed though, to remind me to avoid the evilness of the Reese Peanut Butter cup.
