Fancy Pantsy

My friends tell me that I have a habit of looking people over when I see them. I don’t try to do this, I really don’t. But I guess I do it. I like clothes. I like hair and make-up and jewellery and accessories.  I like to see what people are wearing and how they look.

I do notice when someone’s look doesn’t work. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t CARE. I am friends with people irregardless of their fashion sense, and don’t think any less of people that are not stylish or even that look bad, I just figure it is not a priority for them and that is cool. But I do notice. Here are some of the things that make me take another look and long to help:

1) Shoe offences of all sorts:

1a) Sandals and socks.

1b) Thinking black shoes go with everything. They don’t. You at least need a black (for anything with black and the occassional non-black outfit that screams for black shoes) and a brown (for earth tones colours) for each season, and really a beige (for light coloured outfits-especially in the summer) is necessary  too. If you really want shoes for everything, something in gold and something in red (looks great with jeans!) are always a nice touch.

1c) Casual shoes with dressy clothing or dressy shoes with casual clothing. Try finding something in the middle if you want to make it easier-sandals with a wedge or thick heel and thick straps (like the ones below) can often cross over and be quite versatile, as can many pairs of flats. If it is altheletic, it is casual and cannot go with dress clothes. If it has a high skinny heel or rhinestones, it is dressy and does not work with gauchos or sweats (though it can work with nice denim and a cute top).

1d) Crocs anywhere but the garden or some other very casual muddy outdoor event/place of the sort that I would generally try to avoid.

2) Too tight clothing. Tummy rolls, muffin tops and bulges from bra straps should not be seen. If you like your clothes tight enough  for these things to be seen, you may want to either re-think your style or lose weight.  If you have gained weight and are still wearing clothes from before because you can still stretch it out (or hold your breath) and  get it on so you figure it still fits; you are wrong. It doesn’t fit.

3) Things that do not, in any way shape or form or by any stretch of one’s imagination, match. Rules for matching are much looser these days than in the past. Patterns can sometimes go together. So can red and pink or black and brown. But some things still don’t work. I know them when I see them, and wonder how the offending dresser doesn’t.

4) Sunglasses as headbands. I can accept occasionally popping them up on one’s head and even do it on occasion myself (but not often because it is sretches out the glasses and gives me a headache). But I know one woman who always has sunglasses perched on her head. Any time of the day, any time of the year, any weather. I have never actually seen them on her face, and am pretty sure they are there for the hairstyle and not the eye-protection. We all know that hair can look nice pulled off the face or with some accessory between the bangs and the back of the hair. This is why headbands were invented.

4) Sleeveless or short sleeved turtlenecks or hoodies. I just don’t get it. If it is warm enough to wear short sleeves, you just don’t need a hood or a turtleneck.

5) Mini-backpacks.  So early 90s.  They looked silly then (even though I had them) and look really silly now. I know they are convenient and hands free. I don’t care. Try a crossover bag for hands free convenience.

6) Bad jeans. I know a woman who wears high waisted tapered faded jeans that hit her calves about an inch above the ankle bone. She usually wears them with sport socks and sneakers. I almost cannot look, it hurts so much to see this.

That’s all for now. If you are guilty of any of the above offences, no worries. I still love you. But I am noticing.  Please feel free to add your own fashion faux-pas!