Lipstick fail and pass

Recently I’ve gotten into liquid matte lipsticks…a modern look that lasts and lasts. 

I decided a berry red would be lovely and grabbed Revlon HD in addiction. Upon application I was not disappointed!

However, 30 minutes later I was left with this. Not cool Revlon! 

In good news, Wet and Wild liquid catsuit in Rebel Rose looks fantastic, and lasts forever. I think I will seek out a berry shade in this formula! 

Under-eye angst

With the insomnia that I have already talked about, come darker spots under my eyes. I also feel like I look a bit wrinklier under there! I’ve never been one to use concealer except on the occasional spot, but recently I’ve started to realize that I need a good under eye concealer.

So, I piled up my points and went to shoppers. I started at the beauty boutique and got some help, after trying every high-end concealer they had I ended up with Boiing by Benifit. It looked good when I first applied, but I wasn’t really happy with it. By the end of the day I felt like it was caked into my lines and made me look worse!

So I did some research, and went back to Shoppers. This time I avoided the high-end stuff, and went straight for the Maybelline rack. I grabbed the Instant Age Rewind that had very high reviews all over the Internet:

I am much happier with this product! Any other suggestions for an awesome under-eye concealer?

Mind games 

One thing I’ve been trying really hard to do was not be so negative about other people. I am very sensitive and my feelings are easily hurt, so it’s easy for me to see the wrong in others when I am hurt. 

I really want to be the type of person that only sees the good in others, and I believe this is something I have to train my brain to do. 

A little trick I’ve been practising that I hope helps, both with my currently dwindling friendships, and in  making more positive new friendships. 

1. Whenever I realize I am thinking poorly of somebody, I force myself to also think about something positive about that person. 

2. Whenever I catch myself thinking poorly of somebody, I force myself to think about something about myself that I could improve on. 

Vegan Tteokboki

One of my very favourite Korean foods is tteokbokki. I don’t eat it anymore though because I know there is usually fish sauce in the sauce, and there are also chunks of fish in the mixture. But at its base it is a Korean style barbeque sauce with rice cakes (not the crunchy cracker type, they are like very thick rice noodles) stirfried in. 

I decided today when I was at the Asian supermarket and saw the rice cakes (tteok) to try it. I made a Korean style barbeque sauce last week that I put on Cauliflower that I thought would work perfect. 

Here’s what I did:

1. Rinse off the rice cakes, and then cover them with water and set them to boil. Once the water reached a boiled I turned the element off so they wouldn’t overcook, because they tend to get mushy when they do. 

3. In a pan I dumped one cup of water, a quarter cup of kimchi, a large squirt of red pepper sauce, about a 1/2 teaspoon of sesame oil, a teaspoon of sugar, and a big blob of ketchup. I set it to boil and then lowered to simmer. (this is an excellent sauce for roasted cauliflower, without the water since you don’t have to let it simmer). 

4. Once the sauce was simmering I drained and dropped in rice cakes, and left it all simmering. I mixed often until the sauce had reduced. 

5. That’s it! It was a last-minute plan if I had done more preparation I probably would’ve chopped up a bunch of vegetables (zucchini and peppers) to put in. 

My kids did not like the rice cakes, but they did enjoy the sauce over rice!

Good and bad stuff


1. It is spring, the weather is warming up, I plan to start running again (today!), and of course walking is much more pleasant!

2.  I’ve been going to fit-boxing once a week, and really enjoying it. I’ve actually been doing that instead of yoga, because I love the Wednesday night fit-box class and I don’t really like the Wednesday night yoga class I was attending (great teacher, but the class just isn’t very challenging for me. Which was OK when I was just getting back into yoga but now I need more if I’m going to go). I love Monday night’s yoga class, but I can’t go right now because of a schedule conflict, but that will end in May and I think yoga on Mondays, boxing on Wednesdays, and my own workouts (combination of cardio, and strength training) the rest of the week will be perfect! 


1. It is spring. Even though there are a lot of good things about spring, I still hate spring. I was reading an article yesterday about reverse seasonal affective disorder and I wonder if that’s an issue for me. I always have a hard time in March, April and early May. Physically I tend to get tired and headache-y easily and also tend to get sick more easily this time of year. Emotionally I tend to be overly sensitive, easily hurt, and tearful. Somewhat depressed…not to the point that I can’t function or anything like that…but just to the point that I notice I feel less happy. I think some of it is because my husband works so much more this time of year so there is a lot more pressure on me at home (which adds to work pressure as well, as I have to make sure I am not stuck working late, which is hard in my job), as the kids get older that gets easier however I still have the same emotional response to this time of year. 

2. This may be related to number 1 but I don’t think so, because it’s actually been happening for a long time. The people I’ve considered my closest friends over the last few years don’t seem like close friends anymore, and it’s pretty clear that it’s not going to improve-the details aren’t important I will just say that it’s clear that a close friendship is not a priority anymore. That is fine, people and relationships change. I still have some close friends…but not as many as I would like, and although I don’t need to be the most popular girl around, I am a super social person and like to know there are people I can reach out to to go for coffee or do something with our families. My circle has gotten smaller and I don’t know how to make it bigger again.

3. Iv’e been struggling a lot with insomnia since my surgery. This is not uncommon but I’m not sure what to do about it. Ativan helps me sleep however it is habit-forming so I don’t like to take it every night. Melatonin used to help but it doesn’t seem to anymore, and it gives me such crazy dreams that even if I do sleep it is not restful. My oncologist has offered me an antidepressant that sometimes helps with hot flashes off label, but hot flashes are not my problem and when I looked at the potential side effects (insomnia is a very common one, also headaches!!!) I decided not to take it. I have been going to acupuncture and although I have noticed it is improving some other issues, my sleep has not improved. I’m starting to look at some supplements but I have to be careful, because there are supplements breast cancer survivors are supposed to avoid! I’m also trying meditation and mindfulness, and thinking back to the cognitive behavioral techniques I learned years ago. Hopefully some of the techniques I am using will start working better soon and I will be getting better sleep, but in the meantime it’s very frustrating! It’s also a painful and sad reminder that even though it seems like the cancer is “over”, it is still hurting me and I don’t get my life back (yet).