The kind of person I want to be

Over the last couple years I’ve had to do a lot of soul-searching, trying to figure out what kind of person I want to be and how I want to live. 

-I want to be someone that is there for other people. I don’t want to let other people’s problems take over my life (which is hard for me, I’m often up at night thinking about other people’s problems both people in my personal life and work and that is something I need to work on), but I don’t want to abandon people either. I want people to know they can count on me. I know what it’s like to not be able to count on people during hard times, I never want to make others feel that way. 

-I want to give more than I take. I can be materialistic, but I feel much better about giving. I no longer sell my used items, instead I donate them, even the high-end ones. It gives me joy to think about somebody who could never afford a high-end handbag or shoes, even secondhand, finding one as a donation. If I can afford to buy these things, I can afford to give them away. 

-I don’t want to be jealous anymore. Everybody always seems to have more than me; more material things, more money, more vacations, more friends, better jobs. Maybe it’s just perception, but it seems to be true, however so what? I have a happy marriage, healthy children, as far as I know I am healthy too. I have a roof over my head and we can pay our bills, we have jobs and go on vacations and I have loving family and some good friends. I don’t need to be jealous of other people, I have what I need. 

-I want to truly let go of what and who doesn’t Bring me more joy than pain. I’ve tried to, but I keep turning back to things that hurt me over and over again. I need to learn to stop doing that. Personally, and professionally. I’m tired of falling in the same hole. 

-I want to stop beating myself up for what’s wrong with me. I’m not perfect, but I don’t deserve to feel bad about myself, and deserve to let others feel like I should. 

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Old navy wish list

I’m no snob, I will shop anywhere if the price is right and the clothing is cute and fits me!

I normally do a lot of shopping at Old Navy. I don’t plan to buy myself much for fall this year, because I’ve got loads of clothing …much that I’ve never even worn. I still love looking at new arrivals, to see what’s in fashion, and get new ideas for how to style what I already have! 
Some looks from the Old Navy new arrivals page that caught my attention: 

Early fall outfit with a walmart win

I bought these joggers last spring at Dynamite, but never wore them. I just never figured out how to wear joggers with in a dressy way! I have some very casual ones I wear on weekends, but these are nicer material meant for a different styling! 

Today it was kind of cool out but not quite cold enough for me to wear heavy pants because I overheat easily, so I decided to try them! After some trial and error they worked well with a lightweight blue blouse (Adrienne, from a Carbon pop-up), tucked into the front (I never tuck)!. I wasn’t sure platform sandals would finish the look, but they did beautifully!

I was in a rush to get out the door and forgot to grab a sweater, so I decided to hop by Walmart and grab a cheap one, but while I was in there looking at them I thought about how many cardies I already have, theI really don’t want anymore. So I grabbed this flowered bomber instead. A totally different look at $25. 

I feel super fashion forward in spite of my cheap quickly puttogether outfit! 

Growing hair, month 2

I just completed my second month of my three month supply of sugarbearhair vitamins! My hair is definitely growing, although I don’t know if it would be growing the same without the vitamins or not. It is still slightly too short to tuck behind my ears, and definitely too long to wear down, so I continue to braid or twist the bangs back. 

Bookish

I’ve read a lot of great books in 2017, here are some mini reviews:

All the ugly and wonderful things by Bryn Greenwood
This was the first book I read in 2017, and I’m pretty sure I will consider it the best book I read by the end of the year. The story of a young girl, abused and neglected, and the unexpected love she finds. it’s difficult to read, yet at the same time hopeful and inspiring

This is How it Always Is by Lori Frankel
The story of a family with five sons, the youngest of him becomes a daughter. Well written and the characters were well-developed there was a lot of love in the book and an explored a difficult subject very well.

The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane by Lisa See
A beautiful book about minorities in China, tea, adoption, love and family.

The Orphan’s Tale by Pam Jenoff
I absolutely loved the story of two women, when a German Jew and the other is a young Danish girl caring for a Jewish baby, no meat in a travelling circus in World War II Germany. The book goes back-and-forth between the perspective of these two incredible women, against the heartbreaking backdrop of World War II Europe.

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi
An incredible book! This book goes back seven generations to colonialized Ghana, and tells the story of half-sisters; one the wife of a British general and the other sold to slavery. It’s beautifully written, and each chapter is the story of another descendent, alternating between descendants of the two sisters.

The light we lost by Jill Santopolo
An incredible story that follows a decade in the life of a young man and young woman who met during 9/11, and the ways they came together had fell apart over the years. Reminded me of one day by David Nicholls, a long time favourite of mine!

Seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
A young woman interviews and ageing film star, famous for having been married seven times, and learned the true story behind all those marriages. This book didn’t really interest me but I read it because it came highly recommended, and it was incredible!

Clay Girl by Heather Tucker
Beautiful book about a young girl growing up with a family that has all kinds of wrong and how she makes it through it was an amazing book however sometimes difficult to read, because it was so lyrically written and there were a lot of characters.