How do I live? 

The other day, a friend asked me if getting cancer has changed the way I live very much.

It has, in small ways: 

1. I became vegan, I was moving towards it anyway but cancer definitely fasttracked me!

2. I have a lower tolerance for rude behavior, I no longer think it is funny to be mean, and I try very hard to be a better kinder more compassionate person. I recognize that everybody has struggles, you don’t always know what other people are going through, and it is always better to be kind even when somebody seems undeserving. This is not necessarily new, but it is definitely heightened. 

3. I try hard to enjoy my life, to spend time with friends, to give my children and my husband more attention. Again, not necessarily a new goal, but a heightened importance. 

So, I haven’t changed my life that much. 

But the truth is the big things I’d really love to change, I can’t.

I would love to have a different job. I like the work I currently do in many ways and feel passionately about the work, but it is also very stressful. I did something else for eight months and adored it, I wish I could have kept doing what I was doing, but that didn’t work out. Unfortunately I’m not in a financial position where I can just leave my job, I have to wait for the right position to come up, and then hope I get it. That may or may not happen. It’s unfortunate because getting cancer (and experiencing this other job I did, that was completely different than what I normally do) has definitely shown me that I don’t want to live my life in a way that I am constantly stressed about my work, but I don’t really have much choice at the moment. I try to learn how to manage and cope with the stress, sometimes I am more successful at that than others. 

2. I wish I had more time. More time for myself, for my family, for my friends. Again unfortunately it’s hard to make it happen. I work full-time and I have no choice about that. I try to fit exercise in my life, I don’t feel like I have much choice about that. There are things I have to do for my kids and home and my family, and I absolutely have to try to get a decent amount of sleep every night. There is just no room to find the time I wish I could have. One of the silver linings of going through cancer treatment was that I had a lot of time off work, and even though I spent some of it feeling pretty crappy, I still really enjoyed having more time to myself; more time alone during the week to (slowly) get things done so they weren’t all left for weekends, to read and watch TV.  I now wish I could work part time, but again that’s just not something that’s possible.

So, getting cancer hasn’t made me change my life in any huge ways…but it made me wish I could.  


This fall big cosy blanket scarfs with geometric patterns are all over. I think they look great in pictures and on other women, but whenever I try them on they feel so hot and heavy. I do tend to run hot, so I know that it would not be a good thing for me…I would be taking it off the minute I got anywhere anyway! So I have been on a search for something with a similar look, but a lot lighter weight. 

Yesterday while I was looking for some clothing for Charlotte at H&M, one caught my eye: 

Not only doesn’t look great, but it was only $12! 


Just a few updates! 

1. I’m feeling OK for the most part. I find that my stamina and energy are two steps forward one step back, I have not ran since the run for the cure! Every day I come home and it’s all I can do to keep my eyes open. I do try to hit my 10,000 steps a day and usually do, but beyond that I’ve gotten pretty lazy about working out. I think part of it is the change in seasons though, I never feel well this time of year! I’m trying to be gentle with myself and remember that it hasn’t even been a year since I’ve been diagnosed, but I am so eager to be back to my normal self and it bothers me that I’m not. I feel lazy even though I know I shouldn’t! 

2. I did an interview for today’s parent, which led to a video that was shared quite a few times on Facebook. There were a few things about the video that were quite embarrassing, like how many times I said the words “bat mitzvah”, but I also think I had some important things to share about parenting with cancer, and in particular about talking to kids about cancer. Here is a link to the article with the video if anyone is curious!

3 . That video actually lead to me being asked to be interviewed on Cityline, along with a super inspiring metastatic breast cancer survivor, and somebody from Rethink breast cancer, an amazing organization for young women. It was really exciting to be on the show, and I got my makeup done! It is a tape the show and will be on Wednesday morning, October 26. If I get a link to a video, I will most certainly share it. 

4. In one month it will be both my 43rd birthday, and my 15th wedding anniversary. To celebrate this Adam and I have decided we are going away…alone. It’s hard to believe we have never done so since having kids, but it’s true, not even for a night or a weekend in the last 13 years. Really, we haven’t been away alone since our honeymoon! So we have booked five nights at an all-inclusive in Cuba! I’m feeling a lot of guilt for going away without my kids, but also excitement because I think my husband and I really do need this time together to nurture our marriage and celebrate the 15 year milestone (and getting through cancer). 

5. Last Friday night I went to an amazing event called Boobyball, it is a fundraising event for the aforementioned rethink organization. As a survivor I was able to get a complementary VIP ticket, it was a huge party at a downtown venue. Even though it was amazing that so much great fundraising was done, it was kind of weird to be an event like this surrounded by the sort of young rich beautiful people that go to such events, and I often found myself wishing I was one of them instead of myself. The theme was “paradise city, welcome to the jungle”, so I bought a dress from French Connection online. It fit well and looked cute, but I probably should not have worn the dress, I did not feel nearly as elegant as I would’ve liked to. Oh well. In spite of my discomfort with the dress and the crowd, I did have a good time and I was surrounded by survivors that had also attended, all of them lovely inspiring strong women that I feel proud to know. 

Eyeing Anthroplogie

I hit Anthropologie with a friend over the weekend, unfortunately there was nothing I liked on sale, and it’s way too high priced for me to consider without sales. Here are a few outfits that caught my attention though, hopefully I can put together some of my own similar looks this fall: 

Boyfriend jeans look bad on me, but I like the top

I really like the outfit I wore to work on Monday, I usually tend to wear more fitted clothing but I’m getting into looser stuff. I rolled up the pants a little bit so there was a little bit of leg showing above the booties, I think that’s a thing! The pants are from H&M, the top (which looks black but it’s actually dark blue is from Carbon, a pop-up sale), booties are actually Dr Scholls from Walmart-they are very cute, comfortable, have a little heel, and no leather! Scarf and sweater are old navy 


Baingan Bharta, eggplant curry, is one of my very favourite Indian dishes. So when I was trying to figure out what to do with half of a huge eggplant I had left over I decided to try making it myself. I winged it! 

Half eggplant, diced

1 chopped shallot 

Handful sliced mushrooms 

1 sliced tomato

1 can lite coconut milk 

Teaspoon of each: minced ginger, minced garlic, garlic powered, smoked paprika

Splash of hot sauce

Handful of cashews

Mix all the ingredients except cashews and add enough water to make sure they are well covered. Bring to a boil and then lower to  summer and leave until eggplant is are soft and much of the liquid has evaporated. Mash with a fork or potato masher, and mix in the cashews.

I decided to mix some leftover rice right into it, instead of serving it with the rice on the side, since it heated up the rice!