Updatey musings

I am so tired. More tired than I have been in a long long time. I guess because I am getting older, I just don’t recover from lack of sleep as easily. Earlier in the week I slept very very badly, maybe 4 to 5 broken hours a night. I was also more active than usual, keeping up my running schedule and also doing some other exercise and dancing I normally would not do. Now I am back on my normal routine, and I am sleeping my usual 6 to 7, but I have not caught up yet and I’m absolutely exhausted. I would call into work today, but I am on call, so that is not fair. Hopefully I can catch up a bit this weekend.

I won’t be catching up tomorrow though. Not in the morning anyway! Tomorrow morning I was supposed to run a 5K race, but I switched to a 10K! When I registered for the race, I was supposed to do it in May, when 5K would be perfect. But then my grandfather’s unveiling was planned for the same day, so I had to transfer to the race now. Since my training schedule has me running a 10K long run this weekend, and it would have been very hard to run a 5K race and a 10K long run and one weekend, it made sense to switch to the 10k race. When I did it last week. Now, I am regretting it a little and sort of wishing that I had decided to just skip the race entirely, and run a long 10K run myself on Sunday. The race is on Saturday not Sunday, which means I have less rest days before my long run than I usually do , since my schedule usually has me running short runs on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then having two days off before my Sunday long run. And, of course, I am just so tired. Anyways though, I will do it, and I know that I will feel great about it afterwards! My Tuesday and Thursday runs this week have fallen a little bit short, and have also been quite slow. Things could go either way tomorrow because of this. All that neglected running energy could have me aching to run fast and hard, and I could do awesome. Or the exhaustion could continue, as could the bad runs, and it could be a sad race. Either way though… I will get through my 10K… And be happy I did. I must admit though, I get very nervous before every race. A little voice says “What are you doing? You are fat and lazy and hate running. You cannot do this. You are going to fail and look like an idiot”. So far, I’ve shut that bitch up everytime…but I am getting scared that the half-marathon will be when she is right. At this moment, I am so tired I want to cry, and a bit scared that tomorrow will be her day.

In other, unrelated, news, I have made a big decision. For me anyways. About a month ago my car seat technician certification lapsed. I tried to reschedule, but had some difficulty. Now, I can do it in mid-September. I have decided not to. After three years of doing car seat technician work, I just don’t want to do it anymore. I am really glad I took the training, because I now feel very confident about my ability to make sure my own kids are as safe as possible in the car, as well as the children of the people I love, and having up to date certification or not doesn’t really change that. But as far as volunteering at clinics, I’m done with that for a while. Not that there was any problem with it, it’s just really hard to take a whole day away from my family on the weekends. As my children get older, it gets harder and harder because they have more activities, and birthday parties and such. Also, I now like to exercise a lot on the weekend. There’s only so much I can fit into a Saturday or Sunday! Even though I know this is the right decision for me right now, I do feel some guilt. Volunteering on a regular basis, and doing it in something that I consider so important, has given me a lot of pleasure and pride. I guess I can never take back what I’ve already done, and now that I’ve done it once, it will be easier to do it again when it can fit into my life better. But still, this was a decision that did not come to me easily or without a lot of internal conflict.

I guess that is about it for updates. Oh, my eyebrows are such a mess that I may need to wear my sunglasses all day today. Okay, now I am done with my updates. Have a great Friday everyone!

Oh, I like my earrings (from Clair’s):

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