It is getting better. I am still not completely used to the feeling of the trays in my mouth, or the attachments (little nubs of cement on some of my teeth to help with fit) on my teeth when the trays aren’t covering them, but it doesn’t hurt anymore…and I can pop the trays in and out pretty easily. I have heard the first few days with every new tray (I will have 6upper, 8 lower) will be a bit tough…but at least I will be used to the attachments by then. I have been reading up on tips to make it more tolerable. I am sure I’ll be happy when I am done and no longer have crooked teeth. Also, it is nice (annoying but nice) to no longer be able to mindlessly eat. The nuts on my supervisor’s desk, treats around the office, leftovers on the kid’s plates…etc…no longer tempt me because it is too much of a pain in the ass to remove the trays, then brush my teeth and floss and clean the trays before putting them back, just for  a nibble of something.  I have been very good about my dental hygiene, brushing and flossing after everything I eat, because I do not want the trays holding any food against my teeth. The thought of that is nauseating!

The kids:
Zoe is loving her 1 week camp.

Charlotte started Pre-school (which she is doing instead of kindergarten) this week. She is doing…okay. Most days she is fine, there was one day she cried a lot and did not really play with other kids. But she is not doing great, even on the “fine” days. She misses her routine and her friends and spends a lot of time playing alone (even though she has made some friends). She cries every morning before going and says she wants to go to the mall (where she used to go to a  family resource center drop-in program where she was loved by all) instead. It breaks my heart to be making her go through this transition, she is so sad…but it has to be done.  She is usually crying in the morning and at drop-off, okay when we pick her up..then complaining and saying she does not want to go back later in the evenings. The staff say she is doing fine and they are encouraging her and the other kids to play together. One thing I keep reminding myself is that  it is the last 2 weeks of the summer program…most of the kids there have been together all summer. In September, the older kids in the group (and some of the younger ones) swill be going to Kindergarten, and likely some new kids will come in. They will also be on a more rigid routine. It should be easier for her then. Also, time will help.  But right now, I am sad and stressed about this.

Still sucks, I am making myself get on the highway, and then giving myself permission to get off when I feel too stressed. That way I am not avoiding it (which I know will make it worse) but also not creating ongoing stress for myself. I have spoken to a therapist about cognitive behavioral therapy. Unfortunately…or fortunately depending how you look at it…I am already doing what they would teach me. I am already continuing to make myself drive on the highways, using a lot of  self talk *, breathing techniques when I feel anxious, etc.  She says (which I know) that this kind of post-traumatic reaction after an accident is very, very common, I am doing better than most (many would not even get on the highways at this point) and it is naive of me to think it will be getting better yet. Oh well. This sucks. I drive on the highways a lot, and don’t want half my days to be full of stress, tension and white knuckles. What can I do though? I will just have to be patient,  power through and use what skills I have to cope.

I am just overwhelmed. The driving issue and pre-school issue have me stressed and brooding more than I would like to be. Drop-offs and pick-ups are stressful. I am doing all the housework and laundry and cooking again and never feel like it is done…in addition to working full-time and making sure I do not let my yoga or running fall by the wayside…and continuing to make healthy meals and not fall back into the oh-so-easy-pasta-every-night habit…especially since I don’t eat pasta!


*self-talk (in case anyone googles “self talk for driving anxiety”:

-I can get off at an exit whenever I need to

-the cars behind me don’t want to be in an accident either and wont hit me

-millions of people drive on the highways safely everyday

-I have driven on the highways safely for years

-if I cannot change lanes to get to my exit I can just take then next one

-there are always other routes to use if  I  need to get off the highway

-just 1 more interchange…or 2 more…or 3 more…


One thought on “update

  1. You’re doing really well, lady! Keep working at it, and it can only get better (and I mean everything)… one of the things I remind myself when I’m at mile 3 and I feel like giving up. :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s