Some updates

1. I rolled my ankle running last weekend. I’ve been off this week and feeling grumpy about it. I was doing really well with my training runs and had gotten myself back up to 6 miles without walking. I’m just trying to remember if I don’t let my ankle heal I won’t be able to run at all. I did 2 miles last night. I was okay but knew it was enough.

2. Saw my therapist for the second time. It is going…okay. I’m forcing myself to get on the highways and use the coping techniques she is teaching me. It is still very hard, but not as hard as it was 3 weeks ago. My biggest panic trigger is when someone is tailing me right on my butt and wont get off or pass. I haven’t had a bad tailgater in a few weeks so that has made it easier…but I also wonder if my anxiety was making normal cars behind me feel like they were tailing me and now my perception is getting more realistic? Either way, it is getting easier but it is still very hard. I am still so angry. Using the highway is so much (emotional) work now and I just want it to be the mindless everyday activity it was a few months ago. It is difficult for me to believe it ever will be…but I’m told it can.

3. Life is crazy. We are adjusting to not having a nanny and as we get further into the school year and days are shorter it seems to get harder not easier. I am managing but feel like every moment not devoted to work and parenting is given to the house and laundry (and I only do the bare necessity of cleaning). I am just barely fitting in exercise, my only reading is audio (though I did read and enjoy Girl Gone by Gillian Flynn on the kindle last weekend) and TV is pretty well none existent for me.

4. Being stressed anxious and overwhelmed seems to be good for something. About 10 people have told me how skinny I am this week. Although I do like how I look now, I’d rather gain back the 5-10lbs I’ve lost in the past couple months (starting when the nanny quit and I had a car accident in the same week) and be more functional and feel better about myself again.


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