1. I am tired. Life, post nanny, is catching up with me. I am working full time, trying to parent well, trying to practice yoga about 5 times a week, trying to do cardio at least 3 times a week, and trying to keep my home from being on a TV show. One about dirty, dirty homes. Drop-off, pick-ups, home-work, laundry, lunches, dishes…all never end. My husband is AWESOME with the kids, and super supportive of all the time I spend out of the house (or upstairs) practicing and exercising…which is great. But, he doesn’t do much to help with cooking and cleaning and I feel like I am so lucky he is so willing to be on his own with the kids so much so I can practice yoga and get in my cardio…that I never feel like I can ask him to do more. Meanwhile, my friends tell me I am “lucky” he does his own laundry…and I feel like maybe he is lucky I do my own laundry and our kid’s laundry!  People suggest a cleaning lady…but I don’t need someone to do a big cleaning every few weeks…I need someone to keep on top of the little day to day tasks and messes that pile up and never end. The nanny did that. Now, (almost)  just me. Hopefully I will adjust better soon, because I really have to. There is nothing to give. Giving up yoga is not an option, nor is giving up cardio. My kids deserve a good parent who does all the things they need done. We all need to eat. I need to work, and do my job well, and going to part-time is not an option for me. The nanny is not coming back. I have to make this work.

2. I think part of the reason I am so tired is the change of seasons. I don’t do well when seasons change. I get tired and head-achy and all-over-achy…hopefully I wont be so tired and grumpy anymore soon.

3. Driving is….okay. I am on the highways a lot more now and no longer anxious beginning to end…but I still react very badly when I am being tailed and feel like I cannot escape, and little things set me off. For example, today I got on the 401 to go from West Scarborough to Pickering, and the merge ramp was blocked. The person behind me was speeding to merge and didn’t realize until the last second that I was not merging and nor could he…he actually had to pull onto the shoulder to avoid hitting me (this was not because I was afraid to merge, but because the lane to merge into was was actually stopped). Eventually traffic moved again and we got on, but I was so shaken up I could not change lanes again and ended up getting off the very next exit. Then, I took a regular city road while I calmed down, and got back on about 10 minutes later. I made it to my destination…and a few hours later took the 407 home without issue…but all my highway time today was more anxious and white-knuckled than usual after almost getting hit getting on. On the bright side, I knew that would happen and made myself keep doing it…because I know if I don’t, I’ll end up like I was a few months ago…and I cannot let that happen.

4. I guess you know this, but I am still doing my daily headstands (the pictures here make me). It was really hard at first…my upper back and shoulders always ached the first week (not my neck though, which is good)…but now I am fine and even th0ugh I have my iffy moments (I flipped over yesterday!) am mostly having good ones, and often (I’d say about 3/4 of the times I try) able to do what I set out to…10 breath headstand, 5 breath pike, back up to headstand for a breath, than lower slowly…and am pretty well always able to hold the headstand and pike…it is the lifting back up from pike that sometimes eludes me, and I still have to work to consistently get my legs high enough in headstand and low enough in pike.  Maybe I will do a halfway video this weekend!

5. The place where I have been doing Mysore is adding another Mysore class on Wednesdays, and a led primary series class on Saturdays mornings. I am SO happy. I can usually only fit in Mysore once a week, so I am glad I will have another day to add to my options. It is a different instructor than I am now learning from but I am sure she will be great..and a new teacher can really add something to my practice I find, since they always have slightly different adjustments and directions that give me new ways to try things. I am also excited for the Saturday morning class. It is with the regular youtube-video-like teacher a not-awful-time for me…as long as my parents take the kids for breakfast (they often do) and Adam gets Lotte from Dance class (he usually can). I wont be able to go every week (next week, for example, is Lotte’s little dance show!), but sometimes is good. I am trying it out tomorrow and that is something to look forward to after a rough week. I am mostly only practicing Ashtanga now…I take maybe 1 Hatha class a week. I would think it would be boring since I am always doing the same poses in the same order, but it is not. I do, of course, still play around with other poses that are not in my sequence…but not really during my practice…more  when I am stretching after cardio, or just playing around with the kids.

6.  I am going to the Jack Layton Tribute Dinner! I won a ticket to go with a fun group of colleagues, and  think it’ll be a great night out, and it is a good cause. No idea what I will wear though. I think I will go for “cute and sexy”!


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