Once I finally healed from my radiation burns, and then got some time off of work, I had exactly one goal for the last two weeks of August: have fun with my family!
I’m glad to share that we did indeed enjoy these last two weeks. I had a few days off work with the kids, we spent some time shopping and eating and were interviewed for an article that I will share when it comes out.
Then, from August 22 to the 26th, we enjoyed a trip to Mt Tremblant, Quebec (and a one night stay in Ottawa).
We loved Ottawa, such a beautiful place to visit and walk around, and the Parliament Buildings Northern Lights show was a treat!
Tremblant was such a fun place, with great activities!
Zoë and I went Treetop trekking again, and loved it.
We went on our first ever family bike ride. I loved biking and I’m looking forward to getting a bike next year, unfortunately it was not really Zoë’s thing and we called her activity “a hike with the bike” because she walked so much!!
We went white water rafting on the Rouge River, it was my first time but I’ve always wanted to do it because my favourite ride at Wonderland is White Water Canyon. It was so much fun! I came out of it with a bloody nose, but it was worth it and I look forward to trying it again somewhere else.
After a few days at home, we took off to spend Thursday to Sunday back at BlueMountain, this time with another family! As always, we had a great time at BlueMountain, offensive cupcake sign notwithstanding!
We climbed the mountain twice, following the hiking trails. I have to say that it was so much harder for me to climb the mountain than it has ever been before, several times both days I thought that I might have to turn around and go back down, but I took my time and drank lots of water and made it to the top. This difficulty, similarly to my currently very slow running times (5k takes me about 10 minutes longer than it did this time last year), was a powerful reminder of just how much my body has been through in the last year. However, reaching the top was a powerful reminder of how determined I am to not let cancer be stronger than I am.
Now for what’s coming
Next week, I started an injection called Zoladex. That is to shut down my ovaries and put me into menopause, I have in the past talked about this a little bit, but it’s hard to believe that I’m actually here. I am already in menopause from chemotherapy and tamoxifen, but it’s (supposedly) not a full menopause and the Zoladex will cause full menopause… 10 years earlier than I anticipated, and much more difficult than it likely would’ve been because it is going to be sudden, medically induced, and before my natural time. I am absolutely heartbroken and terrified to have to do this, however it reduces my risk of recurrence so I don’t really feel like I have much choice.
I try to think in my head about how to balance reducing my risk of recurrence with my quality of living; I (hopefully) saved my life and I want it to be good, but a recurrence certainly won’t give me a better quality of life, and I have kids that need me alive more than anything.
I am of course hoping that it won’t be too bad for me, but I have to admit I’m terrified about the impact it will have on me; on my fitness, on my weight, on my sex life, on my energy, on my sleep, on my comfort.
The shot will be given at the Chemo Clinic (somewhere I kind of anticipated never going back, not for years anyway), and I have to get it every 28 days like clockwork, until I would’ve gone into a natural menopause. Most likely I will instead have my ovaries removed, since whether I do the shots or the surgery I am going into menopause for good, and I would rather not be injected in the stomach at the chemo clinic once a month for the next 10 years!
I’m glad I was able to enjoy some of the summer before embarking on this next step in my treatment, and can only hope that ovary suppression it’s not as difficult as I am anticipating, but if it is then I will somehow get through it and come out stronger.