Three years ago I went to my niece’s Bat Mitzvah wearing a dress I had bought at Honey, it was the first (and last!) thing I had ever bought at this boutique and I was so proud to be able to fit into it! I think that night was was the most beautiful I had ever felt as an adult!
I worked my butt off to look awesome in the dress, and within a few weeks afterwards I was pretty sure I would never wear it again. Not that I ever gained back a ton of weight, but I had to be at my absolute slimmest to wear this dress… especially because I absolutely refuse to wear spanx!
3 weeks ago I was invited to a Bar Mitzvah, I tried on all my more recently bought dresses and none of them fit quite right, I didn’t even bother trying this one on because I knew it wouldn’t fit, it literally has not fit since the one day I wore it in February 2014!
3 weeks ago (beginning of March) coincided with when I decided that I really had to get back to myself, I was recovered from surgery and done cancer treatment, and it was time to stop being lazy and stop making excuses and just go for it. I started weight training again, I started upping my cardfio with spinning and throwing some running intervals into my walks, and last week I started going to fit boxing classes. I also started paying closer attention to my diet…not changing it in any huge ways but just keeping a closer eye on the little indulgences that I have a little too freely sometimes (and don’t always track on myfitnesspal! Like the dark chocolate on my supervisors desk!).
In three weeks I lost about 4 pounds, which is completely reasonable! I can also see and feel my body getting tighter and fitter.
But even more so, this happened last night:
I decided to try on the dress yesterday morning, pretty sure it wouldn’t even zip up. Not only did it zip up, but it fit! Not quite as flatteringly as it had been three years ago, but well enough to wear it.
I’m so proud and excited to be back at at this size and weight, not only because of how it looks (because really, I don’t look drastically different 4 pounds heavier) because of how it feels! I feel so much better about myself, more confident and like I have met a goal.
Also, it is very important for me to be a healthy BMI, because it reduces my risk of a cancer recurrence. Although I know that I look like I am a healthy weight already, I am actually still 4 pounds heavier than a healthy BMI! That’s right I’m still 4 pounds overweight! Hopefully I can lose those last 4 pounds, but even if I can’t, if I can maintain this than I am closer to a healthy BMI that I have been in about three years (for the most part, I’m pretty sure there’s a few times I’ve gotten down there for a couple weeks), and that’s wonderful!
Hopefully, everything I’ve been through in the last year, my newfound motivation to be my best healthiest self, both because that’s how I want to enjoy my life and because reducing my risk of recurrence is right up at the top of my priority list, will help me to get down to my goal, or at the very least actually stay where I am for a significant amount of time!
By the way, this is not beating myself up. I lost about 50 pounds in 2010, and have kept all of it off except for the last 5-10 pounds that come and go, so I know that I’ve already done well…but learning how to get off (and KEEP off) those last 10 pounds would be a huge accomplishment for me! Physically and emotionally. So, I’ve got my new life goal: To always be able to fit into the Honey dress.
For those that didn’t know me then, here’s a picture of me back in late 2009, before I lost any weight: