I was talking to a friend today about Facebook, and about the way how things look on Facebook are the way they really are. Obviously this is nothing new, but I thought it would be interesting to share some of what you don’t see on my Facebook, which is full of cute pictures and good times with friends and family.
What I don’t show on Facebook:
-that I am lucky if I manage to exercise once a week, often I don’t even do that, the stamina just isn’t there. I used to exercise every day, and it breaks my heart that I no longer can. I do walk everyday, because usually it’s all I can do (which is why I’m obsessed with my Fitbit steps).
-That I make excuses for anything I am invited to in the evenings, I do not have the energy or stamina to do anything besides coming home from work, taking care of my family, doing laundry and dishes and dealing with dinner, going for a little walk or catching a yoga class on (rare) occasion, and going to bed.
-That I used to stay up until 11 or 1130 every night, now I am usually in bed by 10, sometimes earlier, often before my children are asleep. My husband and I no longer enjoy time together in the evenings before we go to sleep the way we used to, you can get your head out of your gutter I also mean watching Netflix or just having time for long talks!
-That I am always tired, even when I get eight or nine hours of sleep a night.
-That those pictures that show my family having fun at events and activities, they aren’t like they used to be. I often have to nap before and after the fun, drink way more coffee than I should, and usually Adam drives. In the past I was always the driver in our family, now I don’t have the energy to both drive and participate.
-That every night, before I go to sleep, I do an inventory of every part of my body and every ache and pain. Wondering if each one is getting better, or worse, if it’s coming or going, if it’s an indication of cancer to be found.
Defying Gravity 
Thank you for sharing this Jill. I think it’s very important that people know the truth about what it’s like dealing with this disease and how much it affects us afterwards is almost more important to know because there is always this illusion of it being over and that making everything suddenly be back to normal. Also good to know it’s not just me. This sounds like my days as well. Big hugs to you.