10 things

A few weeks ago, a friend posted 10 things she is no longer interested in, and 10 things she is no longer apologizing for. It really resonated with me, so I made my own post. I’m adding it here, with a few more explanations, because this is my blog, and I like to say a lot!

THINGS I AM NO LONGER INTERESTED IN:

1. Keeping up with the Jones’s. I am so tired of trying to do and have what other people do. It’s not really about competition, it’s more about seeing what other people have, and do, and feeling inspired. But we can’t do it all, I’m not trying anymore, I’m prioritizing what truly matters to us.
2. Supporting people that don’t support me. I’ve tried to for a long time so I can be the kind of person I want to be, and I guess the kind of person I want to be has changed from the person that always supports other people, no matter what, to the person that knows her worth. *I’m talking about people that consistently do not show up. We all have times in our lives where we are more able to give or take, but some people always take and never give (support, time, attention, affection), and I am no longer interested.
3. Late nights out on work nights. I’m lame IDGAF. I see so many friends going to concerts and events on weeknights. Good for them. Nothing wrong with it, but I just cannot do it and I’m not even trying anymore. My week night routine is important for my physical and emotional health.
4. People that take my friendship for granted with no effort.
5. Talking about my food choices. I think women talk far too much about what they eat, how much they eat, what their diet is, etc. I don’t like to be a part of it. I don’t mean I wouldn’t share recipes or say “I like Thai food), but I am so over discussing whether I’m eating carbs or not, meat or not, etc. I always find something to eat.
6. People who I know for a fact talk shit about me behind my back.
7. Talking about my weight/dieting or anybody else’s.
8. The price of gas. What does it matter? I need it.
9. Sharing my social life on social media. I’ve talked about this before, I just don’t consider my social life anybody else’s business. I’m also aware there are always people that are lonely and isolated, and feel worse when they see other people socializing. I don’t want to contribute to that.
10. Everybody else’s social lives. Let them! I’m trying very hard to not let myself feel, left out, isolated, or less than based on what other people do, and who they do it with. It’s not easy for me, but I am working on building my disinterest!

THINGS I AM NO LONGER APOLOGIZING FOR:

1. Bering sensitive. I feel what I feel without shame.
2. Having different priorities than many people in my life. Some people can do it all: Travel, socialize, have a nice home, send their kids to camp, etc. We can’t. We don’t have the money, or time, and I’m cool with that! We’ve made our choices, and we are happy. I’m not apologizing anymore for the things we do or don’t do. It’s not a competition.
3. Disengaging from toxic relationships and situations. I am so thankful that I have chosen to disengage (as much as I can) from situations and relationships that I do not think are healthy for me. My well-being is too important to me to continue what hurts me.
4. My eating habits/choices. I don’t eat animals or animal products, and I cannot eat gluten. It is what it is. I do my best to suggest restaurants everyone will enjoy. I’m done apologizing for it. Lots of people have things and places they will not eat, but for some reason, I always feel like the one who is being difficult. I’m not carrying that anymore, nor am I apologizing for it.
5. My home. It is small, it is rundown, it is badly in need of renovations. We have chosen to put our budget and time elsewhere. We’ve also chosen to not let embarrassment stop us from welcoming our friends and family. If they have a problem with our home, they can keep it to themselves.
6. Not going out when I don’t want to (see 3 above…otherwise I’m always down!)
7. Not being able to afford everything. This is mostly apologizing to myself and my kids. But I’m done. It is what it is and we are very lucky to have what we do, not to mention I work very hard for it.
8. Liking books more than TV. People always ask me how I have so much time to read, often it is because I don’t watch much TV very much. That doesn’t mean I don’t watch any, but I do tend to read more. Somehow whenever I tell people that they seem to feel like they have to justify watching TV. They don’t. One is not better or worse than the other. I just really like reading.
9. Over or undersharing (I can do both).
10. Putting the well-being my kids, and my husband and myself above everybody else. If that means disengaging from people, disengaging from situation, turning down invitations, then so be it. Outside of my work responsibilities.