hey ya’ll

December 17, 2009 · Filed under a day in the life

So yeah, it has been a while. Sorry about that. After my self-pity fest a while ago, i have been busy…but it is time for an update, so:

1) I am back to my healthy self, for now at least. I am trying to limit (but not fully avoid) dairy,a nd gargling hydrogen peroxide daily. I really do need to stay off the antibiotics as long as I am breastfeeding (probably another year) since Charlotte got diarrhea and diaper rash from them. She is clearing up too now though. I have the name fo an ENT who I hear is surgery happy…so I am going to ask for a referral to him to discuss my options. I am still terrified fo the surgery, but willing to at least find out if I CAN get it.

2) I am exercising again. Doing about 20-30 minutes of Wii Fit and Gold’s Gym Cardio (a great workout) a day, and also making sure to be on my feet a lot. It is funny, it has only been a while, but I already feel thinner and people are telling me I look thinner. Maybe I am dumping some water weight? I am sure I am not getting into my fat yet!

3) The nanny (S) is here.  She is very nice, and seems to sincerely like both my girls, who are responding well to her. Not too well though…we went to a play program yesterday and Charlotte left her lap to crawl over to mine and sit with me. I was deliriously happy to see that even though Charlotte seems to be attaching to the nanny, she knows where her bread is buttered LOL!

There have been some adjustments. She has reorganized our whole house, and will it looks nice…we are having some trouble finding things. Also it is a bit awkward when we are together with Charlotte. S wants to be with her, and so do I!! She is such a doll, neither of us wants to give up time with her. I only have a few weeks left with her and want to make the most of them, however S only has a few weeks until she is with her all day every day, and also needs to make the most of this time to create a solid bond. I get that…but it is hard.  ultimately though, the nanny thing is going well, we like her and she seems happy, and I think it will work out for the best.

I tell you, having a nanny while being off work rocks!  I do whatever I want with Charlotte while S cleans my house, and then when I want alone time to shower, be online, read, poop, or run errands, I give Charlotte to S and do it!! Of course, it is only a short reprieve from the day I go back to work full-time, and the nanny focuses much more on the baby than housework (she does have some household duties, but not the entire house-just cleaning after Charlotte, the kid’s laundry, and preparing Charlotte’s lunch…anything else she has time to do is appreciated, but not required) but for now, it is so nice.  My house is clean, my baby is cared for and occupied, and I am getting alone time whenever I want it!!! I never understood stay at home moms who have nannies (unless they have, like, a litter of kids), but now…if I was a millionaire…this would be my life!!! Sigh…

I guess thats all for now. I Hope everyone who celebrates it is enjoying Chanukah!!!

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Ugh…depressed…

December 6, 2009 · Filed under a day in the life, pity party

I am in such a funk these days…

1) I am so upset to have discovered that dairy does, indeed, lead to my recurring tonsillitis. I do not want a tonsillectomy. I also do not want to be dairy free forever (and really, now that dairy in my diet does not bother Charlotte, have lost all will-power to avoid dairy. Amazing what we’ll do for our kids but not ourselves, isn’t it?). I am starting to reconsider the tonsillectomy. However, getting the tonsils out will be harder than it sounds, if I decide to do it. I have no good record of the tonsillitis since I have gone to random clinics over the years for antibiotics, and they often did not even do swabs, just peeked in my throat at my pus covered tonsils. Eventually I got so sick of sitting in waiting rooms that I started getting a personal friend to write the prescriptions for me (I know, bad). So, for me to get them out I need to start going only to my doctor, getting the swabs and prescriptions there and then getting a good record, so that the next time I go to an ENT, he’d recommend it. That also means not doing the things I know help me avoid getting it; avoiding dairy obviously. Before that, I was gargling hydrogen peroxide twice a day, on the ENTs recommendation , and that was helping. (I did it for a year, and only got it twice that year)   So, I’d essentially need to let myself keep getting it for a year, and schlep to my (part-time, busy, which is why I was going to clinics instead of her…once I get it a day without anti-biotics can make the difference in whether I get sick enough to miss a week of work or not), getting a new referral, etc. So, I kind of got myself into a bind here by not getting a good medical record of it back when it was a bigger issue, since I now either need to do what I know I can to avoid it (which includes avoiding dairy) or probably spend a year at least  getting sick over and over again to prove to an ENT I need them out. Ugh. There is also still the fact that I am terrified to get them out.

2) I am completely, totally, utterly overwhelmed by laundry, dishes, etc…and I don’t even do a lot of housekeeping. I do a huge load of laundry every single day, I don’t even know how it gets so big. The dishes are never clean. I wont say my man does not help…but he does not help enough. He’ll tell me he cleaned up the kitchen and I’ll think it is done, only to go down the next morning and discover he filled the dishwasher but did not turn it on so we have no clean dishes, and left the baby’s highchair tray covered in food which is now dried on and needs to be removed before I can give her breakfast. I am not a picky “do it my way” type at all…but I think it is common sense that if the dishwasher is full and the dish cabinets are empty, turn it on! I have been on a cloth diaper break for 3 weeks now, but am 2 days back into cloth. I am dreading the laundry. It did not bug me before…but for some reason I am just at a point now where laundry is really, really getting to me and the thought of adding another 2-3 loads a week makes me feel ill.

3. The nanny comes in a few days. Nothing is ready for her (her room is finished, but full of stuff from the other parts of the basement that are still being worked on and her furniture is in the garage), and I am very nervous about how it will work out, and what I’ll do with her my last month of maternity leave. I know I need her for that time to get to know me and the girls and our home and routines and such…but I want to spend the last month with Charlotte, not with Charlotte and the nanny, and not on my own while the nanny is with Charlotte. I am not sure how to get past that feeling.

5. I don’t want to go back to work. I have enjoyed maternity leave and parenting a baby so much more this time, and am not chomping at the bit to get back to my career like I was last time, but I have no choice. Also, my office has moved, my team has changed, and those above me have changed and there is also a tonne of new policy I’ll have to learn and follow. So, I am just not looking forward to dealing with  all that.

6. My weight, still. I decided a few weeks ago to get it back on track, but in practice have not done much.  I am so annoyed because just when I finally started to get motivated to get in shape, I got the flu…and hadn’t even bounced back from it before I got tonsillitis…so I am finally motivated but really not feeling up to any extra exertion right now, just doing “normal” stuff like laundry leaves me winded and coughing through my tender throat, and I am so tired from being sick for weeks now that I am eating a lot more to keep my energy up. I feel like such a fat, lazy, ugly pig. All the moms I know who had babies when I had Charlotte are back to their pre-pregnancy weight. I am nowhere near it, in fact I am closer to my “having a baby anyday now” weight.

Yeah, so, I am feeling like crap.  That’s all.

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11 months

December 4, 2009 · Filed under The girl, the babe

yeah, I’m late…give a girl with pus covered tonsils a break, will ya???

Behold the destructive powers:

Yup, she is a monkey!


In other news, we had the girl’s parent teacher tonight, and got her report card yesterday. Our little girl is in grade 1, and doing awesome. She is French Immersion, and so far, it seems to be going well for her. Grade 1 is DRAMA though!

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Silver pretties

December 4, 2009 · Filed under jewellery, lust inducing

I am into silver these days, especially earrings. Here are some on ETSY I am loving…

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2 things that really suck

December 2, 2009 · Filed under health, pity party

1. I have tonsillitis again.  On anti-biotics. Not too sick, but my throat hurts, and I am achy and feverish-especially when I do not rest enough…which is hard to do with the monkey baby to look after.

So, um, yeah…good-bye cheese. I have been told for years that dairy was contributing to my tonsillitis recurrence. I just blew it off…but after 8 dairy free tonsillitis free months, and one month of dairy  indulgence and a return to the pussy tonsils…I am a believer. At least I know I can have the occasional treat without hurting Charlotte and I don’t have to obsessively read labels, but I do  intend to go back to a mostly dairy free diet. I would rather that than returning to a life ruled by my tonsils or agree to the dreaded tonsillectomy! They are mine, flawed and all,  and I am keeping them thankyouverymuch! (not that I am really so attached to my tonsils, it is my surgery free status I am not willing to give up!)

2. So (insert very very bad word here) somehow copied my debit card number and PIN number, made a counterfeit, deposited an empty envelope into account into the ATM saying it had 1400$, and withdrew $1200. Now my account is frozen pending investigation, and I have to live in my credit card, and deal with the awful feeling of being a victim. This just sucks.

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